Well, it certainly has been a while…

August 3rd 2015… I was still blissfully unaware of what was about to happen to me when I wrote my last post here.

Ten days later everything changed.

An ultrassound told me the baby I was carrying was going to die. It did sometime around September. In the meantime, I got married, the baby was still alive then. Spent a mini honeymoon still carrying him, waiting for him to die, looking at all the babies and pregnant ladies during their holidays…so many of them, it hurt so much.

September 11th… not sure anymore… Came the horrors of the hospital. I was treated like a second class patient. The baby was dead anyways, right?

Then came about three months of grief. Lots of anxiety regarding test results too, those took 6 months to come, but fortunately, my husband and I were fine.

We tried again, 24th of December, that same year… And it happened again, this time sooner, thank goodness. I didn’t have to go to the hospital and did everything at home. It was so much easier.

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Then we tried again… And again we conceived. So fertile lol…

5 weeks into the pregnancy, my former doctor told me to give up again. I called my mother crying, that’s how she found out I was pregnant again. Heh… She told me “No, we are going to my hospital”. We did, and the baby was still there. Heartbeat flickering on the screen at last.

A week later, another scare, and again mom said “No, we are going to the hospital”… Heartbeat still there.

Ten weeks, another scare, he was still there… moving, looking beautiful.

No explanations for the small blood losses I had.

24 weeks of anxiety, despair, sadness and some hope followed. Everything was always fine in the ultrassounds, but I still couldn’t believe it. It was only after the last major exam, which included a heart exam, did I relax, and allow myself to buy any baby items.

I got my first 3D peek. He looked so beautiful.

I hid most of this pregnancy, I didn’t want people to see me. Since week five I was on baby aspirine, progesterone… since week six I was on Lovenox belly shots, daily. I didn’t even know if I needed any of this, but just in case, I took it all. I could add some more sad details, things I heard, how I felt… but I’m in another place right now, and I need a break from that.

April came… abouth two months ago. And here he is, at last. My very healthy, very beautiful little boy.

He smiles since week 4.5, he has his mother’s temper (oh no), he loves boobs and always falls asleep while feeding, he loves to sleep with a cloth over his face (like his mom), he has my hair (thank god), he has those cute grey eyes babies have (like I did), he probably has his dad’s nose (thank god), his smile melts my heart, and still makes me get all teary-eyed, he sleeps ok, still no illnesses…

He’s finally here 🙂 ❤

 

 

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Update on sister!

Hey guys!

A quick and very happy update: My sister had her final exam last week and the results have shown that she is all healed up!

So young and so freaking brave, I couldn’t have handled it as well as she did, really look up to her. She’s so f’ing awesome… It took her three months to beat.

Thanks for your kind words and for your wishes 🙂

Crochet Apple Cozy and an update on my sister!

Hey guys! Been pretty busy since my last post. First things first: after the horrible week we spent not knowing exactly what my sister has, we got the news that it was the lesser of two evils: A Hodgkin Lymphoma. Weird as it may seem, I was so happy. I spent the whole week with a big 64% in my head, which was the success rate for treating a Non-Hodgkin Lymphoma and all of a sudden that scary number was replaced by a juicy 90%. So yeah, I’m damn happy.

My sister’s been really strong and brave, as usual, and her chemo is going well. The only bad side effect was the loss of hair. She shaved it off yesterday, and I must say she looks pretty badass without hair. She likes the look too, so I’m also very happy for that.

I made her a crochet hat and matching boot cuffs and gave her my latest crochet-fascination-item: an apple cozy. Part of her new diet involves eating lots of fruit and apples are included, so it was a win-win gift 🙂

Here is my apple crochet cozy:

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As usual, I found the tutorial on Youtube, but I didn’t quite like the end result, so I made up my own upper bit, looks more appleish to me like this.

You can find the tutorial here if you are interested in starting one of your own. It is a great idea to help you take your lunch in your bag without getting it dirty or bruised:

Apple Cozy tutorial

My sister

Last friday I went shopping with my sister. My kid sister. She’s 20 now. We both had a cold, but along with my boyfriend, had a lot of fun checking out crafting supplies. I was clueless as to what was about to happen in the next few days.

Let’s go back twenty years. I was traumatised with three baby brothers, who appeared in rapid succession lol. The crying, the fits, the diapers, the more crying… but they were growing, and as a young teen, the worst finally seemed to be passing.

Along comes my sister.

Ever since she was a baby, ever since her first days, she revealed to us the type of person she would eventually become. She was a happy, uncomplicated baby. She was sincere, and had a strange ‘light’. I keep saying that if all babies were like here, there would be more babies in the world.

She had a short life line on the palm of her hand.

She grew, and continued being her light, sincere, affectionate, pure self. She’s active, fun, creative, loving.

As a teen, she was busy being a teen. Friends, phones, friends lol.

As my half-sister, I only saw her so often. I wanted to tell her about the things I had learned so far. And I never forgot the short life line. I never managed to find the time to grab her and talk to her in a meaningful way. Whenever we met, there were too many people and distractions around us.

Christmas came, and my gift to her was a letter. In this letter, I shared with her advice about all the things I had learned in the fifteen years I had lived since her birth. It came in handy it seems, and saved her from making the same mistakes I did. She recently thanked me for it, she had before, but this time, she realised how useful it had been. She sent me an image that really moved me.

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Saturday, I was about to start lunch with my mom and my brothers (my also half-brothers, mom’s side), and she phones me asking if I wanted to do lunch. I told her I was already about to start lunch, so if she wanted, she’d have to come join us. She passed.

Saturday night, dad texts me that my little sister is in the hospital. Her lymph nodes were apparently going crazy, her thymus too big to be considered normal.

We go see her there. She seems fine, rosy cheeks, bit of a cough. She’s smiling as usual, worried but calm. I went back home, hoping it was something like mononucleosis.

The next day comes. I phone her up in the morning to see how she is doing, and if there is any news. There is, and bad news she says. Lymphoma. Lymphoma?

Yesterday, biopsy time. We visited. Couldn’t believe how calm and sweet she was. How strong. She talked a lot, she laughed a lot, she reassured a lot. She was strong for her mother every time she saw a tear. “I am here and I’ll keep being here, you’ll see. I will beat this”. So so brave… that light.

The painkillers wore off, and so did her light. I helped her get to bed for the night.

Today we might get news. Lymphoma or not, Hodgkins or not. Been reading up on it and I am not liking what I am reading.

It’s weird. She’s my baby sister, I have always seen her as that. There are too many years between us for me not to. It feels like I somehow cheated. I’m fifteen years older, and I did a lot more things wrong, I do not have her light, and here I am, clean inside. It just doesn’t make sense. She’s too good for this.

I’m still hoping this was all just a fuck up the doctors made.

My boyfriend has the same sort of ‘light’. He’s been so helpful and well… as usual, he keeps me on the path.

If you read this send my kid sister good vibes.

Brand new “wtf?” moment!

Walking one of the main streets of Lisbon, I look to the side and spot some stairs descending to a dead end. I felt an urge to go check it out. My boyfriend stood atop the stairs, slightly perplexed at my compulsion.

I found this:

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Two gorgeous, old, tiny, adorable houses. Abandoned and sealed off. Above their doors an ancient vine tree that nobody tends for, but still gives grapes. The floor beneath collapsing into some dark abyss. Nobody dares go beyond this point, so it remains untouched. A little treasure in the middle of the city.

Totally unrelated: also had a great tea that day: ginger, basil, mint, orange… it looked gorgeous! Oh, and some yummy sweet potatoes 🙂

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Oh oh oh, aaaaand I got to do something I hadn’t done in years: go on a swing. Someone decided to tie swings up on random trees around the city, and I got to swing, looking at the sky, for as long as I wanted. I missed that.

Once upon a time…

First of all, yes, this is me, thirty years ago.

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Oh my gosh… thirty freaking years ago.

Ok, now that that’s out of the way, this is a photograph of one of my first memories, and it has an interesting and somewhat adorable story to it.

I have always remembered the time when my father drew me a clown so that I would color it in. I was very excited, and colored it really really well, I was quite proud of the outcome, I had kept the brush within the lines very very well.

So I walk up to my dad, and I proudly present him our joined work of art.

He looked at it and laughed, and then told me “that’s all wrong”.

My heart was broken.

He the  told me to go outside and stand in the varanda, and took this photograph.

Can you see the heart ache?

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OH MY GOD I WAS SO FREAKING CUTE! Look at that pout.

Yes, my favorite color was red. No, this was not a creepy kid painting a bloodied psycho clown. I really really thought I had done an excellent job.

Now the interesting bit is that as I grew, and my idea of ‘correct coloring in’ changed, so did my memory of this moment. I genuinely thought my father had been unfair, and that I had  painted it very well, with several colors.

Then, decades later, I found this photo.

Interesting how the mind works.

Summer in bloom

It’s been a strange summer here, lots of rain, lots of sun, lots of wind, and loads of flowers. A few weeks ago we went to spend some time at the place up north, it is in a village so small that food is sold from a van, as there are no shops (2 churches though lol), and I was amazed with the amount and variety of flowers still around in the fields!

Here is a little collage of some of the prettiest ones we saw in one of our walks:

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Mr. Owl!

Well this one was a real adventure, and I can’t believe how well it turned out, all things considered. First of all, the tutorial is in Russian (I think, please correct me if I am wrong), second of all, I don’t speak Russian.

It just looked way too cute for me to try, so I gave it a go and I am really happy with the end result! My boyfriend was also very happy with the end result… at the end of the day he discreetly picked it up (or at least he thought it was discreetly), and took it to his treasure shelf, meaning it is his now. He’s so flipping cute.

Here’s the owl, and the link to the tutorial is below:

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Owl Tutorial

‘Led’ me to a memory

For some reason I decided to listen to this song, and it brought back memories.

Memories of an ex, during one of his almighty incessant yapping sessions. Boy did he love to hear himself talk. Towards the end I had developed a sort of blocking mechanism, he’d yap and I’d be playing a song in my head.  I wasn’t really there anymore, and I certainly wasn’t listening. By the time I had decided I was tired of putting up with him I was playing this one in my head, drumming my fingers to the beat as he yapped on.

New addiction!

The other day I was waiting for a couple of friends for dinner. The restaurant was next to a beach. My boyfriend was kind enough to drive me there, so we decided to wait for them together, and walk along the beach. I found some lovely sea glass, and minutes later, my friends arrived.

I felt like someone had stolen my lollipop.

So today, to make the most of our national holiday, the boyfriend and I drove to the same spot and hunted down some great sea glass pebbles.

Here are some of my favourite:

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I’m not even sure if all of them are sea glass. Some seem to have small grains in them, so it makes me wonder if erosion did that, or if they are some sort of stone.

Either way, I’m really happy with my newfound addiction and I had a great time. I have always loved hunting stuff in beaches, and can’t believe it took me this long to realize I had such lovely treasures in my city!

Edit: That wasn’t the only highlight of my day, here’s a cluster photo of some of the most memorable bits, including a visit to a wonderful sushi restaurant!

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Well I just had my ‘Wtf’ Moment of the Day…

Phone rings.

Granpa answers. Call is for him. He sounds confused with the conversation. He passes me the call.

I pick up the call.

“Hello, I am calling from the Lisbon Medical Center…”

“And I we are calling to let you know that your grandfather has won…”

“Two tokens that exclude him from having to pay any health tax…”

“for any bone or heart related exams. You just have to bring him over. If you don’t do this soon, next time, he WILL have to pay taxes, and it can go up to 65 euros!”

So then I answer this guy and say:

“How did you get this number, and why are you calling my grandfather at work? If this is legitimate, why didn’t he receive a letter at home? And what is this ‘Lisbon Medical Center’ I have never heard of, that has the power to ‘tax’ people?”

The reply was “Oh we used to send letters, but many people did not come to their appointments because their letters got lost in the mail”.

-long ‘wtf’ moment of silence-

Then I tell him: ”Well then, please do send us a letter so that I can verify the legitimacy of…”

“OH MY GOD!!! CAN’T YOU HEAR WHAT I AM TRYING TO TELL YOOOOUUUUU?!? FUUUUUCKK…. * imperceptible bitching*

He hangs up on my face.

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Granpa asks me what he said. I told him. He looks just as stupefied as I do.

Phone rings.

I answer.

Same guy.

“I heard what you said” he says…

“And you’ll keep hearing. Now… You yelled at me, and even said “fuck”, so… fuck YOU, grow some manners, never contact me or my grandfather again, and have a nice day, ok?”

I hang up the phone.

Seriously. I have neeeeever ever had this experience or anything close to it. Emo teen from his voice. I don’t know what is weirder, the call itself, or the fact that the guy actually had the nerve to call me a second time.

I’m glad he did though, at least I got to answer him. Prick.

New friends!

The other day this French couple (she Russian-Croatian, he French-Italian), and their ridiculously cute 2 year old baby girl asked my boyfriend if he could help them out. They were on holidays and had rented out one of the flats in our building and their electricity had died on them. We got them an electrician within 30 mins, and recharged their cellphones and laptop in the meantime. Then something happened, something that had never happened to us before:

They came to our door to thank us, and invited us for tea. I had never been invited for tea by a complete stranger. She must have seen the surprise in my eyes just before I accepted the invitation lol.

I decided to make a little crochet fox pin for the baby. Took me ages to get it right, and then when I showed my boyfriend the end result, he put on what I call his “cute face” (must be what he looked like when he was a kid), and he smiled at it.

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“You want us to keep it?”

*silence + cute face*

We kept it.

So then I had to make another one :). The kid loved it and so did the mother.

We had a great time talking to them in a mixture of English and French. The little girl was obsessed with my face, kept stroking it and holding it with both her hands, and kept playing with my hair. I don’t know if it was the French, but everything she said sounded like an overdose of cuteness to me. We also hooked them up with up with our cable account on their pc after the poor father expressed how hard it was to stay indoors (major storm here) with 4 channels he didn’t really understand. He was really happy then too.

They are staying here for about one month and we have a few days off soon, so we might show them some parts of Lisbon they haven’t discovered till then 🙂

Very pleased to meet people in this way, feels good. Not used to it and it really is a shame. Also, great excuse to organize all my papers/paints/yarns and whatnots in case they come over :p.

My brain is a dangerous, devious creature

Bat for Lashes will be the soundtrack for tonight’s post.

When left alone to its own devices, at night, for any period longer than three hours, it starts creeping to its natural state. This is of course, if I have nothing to keep me busy, and I start listening to my songs.

I have often said that my boyfriend is my better half, he is my north, he keeps me out of trouble, keeps me sober, keeps me healthy, keeps me out of the darkness. He is the first to do this.

He is an emotionally simple man, nothing complex, nothing lurking in the background. There is no drama, nothing unpredictable, nothing dark in him. He is calm and he is patient. He is active and he lets me do whatever I want to do, he does not bitch about anything, after almost six years, I still find this odd.

(Yes I have been left alone, at night, for longer than three hours, way longer than three hours).

I have met a few men in my lifetime. The first relationships didn’t last long, the first good one I could have had I ran away from before it even happened (silly girl). One lasted eight years, but thank god it ended. I used to go after the intense ones, the troubled ones, it ended with me unhealthy, both spiritually and physically. It became lackluster. When I was there, all I wanted was light, to be free from drama, control and the weight of psychological manipulation. I had forgotten who I was.

After many a year dabbling in the bad boy pool I traded intensity for peace, I traded weight for air, I traded black for white. I miss it sometimes though,  when I’m left alone, at night, for any period longer than three hours.

I never met a man that could give me both. Is there such a man? I sometimes look at men that were at one point interested in me but I never got involved with because I was taken (I will never cheat on anyone), and I wonder to myself “Could he be both? What would it have been like? What would my life be like today?”. I don’t think that man exists. But I keep thinking about it, when I am left alone, at night, for any period longer than three hours…

Anyways, that’s my stupid brain for you, always finding trouble, always thinking too much. A stupid but a happy one at the moment.

Bruised but happy

Recently I have decided to take my fitness a bit more seriously, to stop slacking so much and go to the gym at least three times a week. So far so more or less good haha!

I do go to all of my Taekwondo classes though, and with only two lessons a week, I can feel my body change, not  because of the horrible muscular pains I get two days later, and not only because of the wonderful blisters I am getting on my feet, and not even because of the gorgeous bruises I am accumulating on my legs (see photo) from kicking my lovely boyfriend, but because I feel muscles, glorious muscles, muscles I have not felt since I was a teenager who played basket, and volley and ran and this and that. My god, I even have muscles on my back (nothing visible, but they hurt like hell LOL!)

Behold! At 34, the body still reacts to small amounts of exercise (2x a week is small amount, even if I work hard).

I am quite happy that I am back to having fun on my Taekwondo classes. Soon we will have to buy protections for our exam, and that means we can fight more at ease, without the constant fear of hurting our partner a bit too much. I can’t wait to see what I can do if I use proper force!

I just hope my shoulder doesn’t pop out of place again :/

I wear them like medals, even of they are little medals. Hope they toughen up soon so I don’t feel as much pain.

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Well I sure as hell took my sweet time!

Just scrolled down to see when exactly I decided to make my button tree and it was scary: November 2012!

I made it yesterday lol.

Here’s the link to the original idea : Original button tree idea

I ended up grabbing a small canvas I had laying around and started making a trial painting with watercolors. I had never painted anything on a canvas, nor had I used watercolors since I was a kid, so I gave it a go. When I thought it looked acceptable (don’t really like the tree trunk, might try to fix it a bit later, but I love the background), I realized less is more, and even though my b/f had got me a big canvas for my tree, this little one, with less buttons, looked like the best option.

Just a quick recap for those that don’t feel like reading what’s on the original link: I’d play with these buttons as a kid. I’d sit on the floor looking at them and just making drawings with them on the floor. My granma kept them in a box. I loved that box, and after her death I was lucky to have found it.

Here it is, the final product:

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P.s- yes, granma bought me bunny buttons 🙂
P.p.s- really need to fix that tree trunk

A world without locks…

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I’ve never been very good at falling asleep. I remember being five and already staying awake for hours in the dark. This was when I developed the habit of entertaining my head with stories, adventures, scenarios etc. Unfortunately if something upset me that day, it was very hard for me to not dwell on it, to the point it was tiresome. This is still an issue to this day, although I have learned how to switch that crap off much faster than before.

I also fall asleep faster. Rare are the nights where it takes two hours or three for me to finally switch off. Having a much calmer and uncomplicated person in my life has really helped.

Anyways, all this information to explain why the hell would I be thinking about a world without locks at 1am: I was trying to not think too much.

So: A world where nobody can lock anything. There are no locks of any kind. You cannot keep anything in a safe, anyone can enter your home, nobody can be locked up, anyone can get into your car etc, etc.

How would this world be? Would it be a land of horrors, where chaos ruled? Would it be crawling with thieves, hooligans, people hurting others (more than in the real world obviously)? Would it be a Madmaxian scenario, where people were armed, defending their homes? Would there be a different social structure? Would we be organized into clans for better protection? Yadda yadda yadda…

Or

Would it be a world where people did not accumulate wealth (anyone could take it)? Would people be more equal? Would we behave better, because we had to (better not piss off your neighbor, he might come visit you while you sleep)? Would this freedom make people more aware of what is right and wrong? Would we have the latest iwhatever and the best flat screen tv knowing that the local beggar could walk in at any moment? Would we be ashamed? Would we even have our own homes?

What would be sold? What would be valued? What would… well, you get it, right? Just so many differences, all because of something as simple as a lock.

I fell asleep fast after starting to think about this. Still an interesting idea.

Silly ego-booster

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Had to get into a packed train in the subway today (a strike had just ended). Not much room, so I had to stand with my back pressed to this cute younger guy. He grinned. How silly is it that I think of this as an ego-booster? Oh well, it was, so I’ll take it thank you very much (at 34 I’ll take as many as I can for as long as I can lol!) I prefer these subtle things than the more obvious ones, even though some still make me laugh (clearly a Latin thing in my opinion, men here think that being obvious makes them more manly).

Anywhoo, one of my closest friends commisioned one of my flower bookmarkers. I sold it so cheap the train ticket was practically the same price (a few cents profit), but the whole giddy feeling I got out of someone asking me to make something for them was the real bonus 🙂

OMG what is WRONG with me?!

I don’t know what the hell has happened to me since the beginning of December but this is just getting ridiculous!

I have no will to work what so ever. Like nada, nothing, ziltch! Granted there isn’t much to do at work at the moment, which is stupid (Xmas, I should be busy purchasing new things for the shop, registering them, pricing them etc etc, but since the lovely crisis is here, we’d rather sell what we have and have money for salaries and Xmas bonuses at the end of the month), but even the little there is to do is just ugh!

All I want to do is go home, make a wonderful cup of coffee, put on my pjs, my dads old oversized wool coat (mom made a his and hers waaahaaahaaay back when they were married, decades ago, and I still have it and I wuves it), and sit at the pc, playing this new game my boyfriend got me, well, it’s old, but it’s new for me, and I’m loving it (Witcher, based on books written by Andrzej Sapkowski, a story I might end up reading).

That’s all I want. So simple.

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Oh what the heck! For the sake of posterity!

About two years ago I took some belly dancing lessons. We came up with a choreography because the gym asked us to participate in their annual show. So after two months of bi-weekly lessons, we came up with this. It is pretty simple, but we loved it ;).

I guess it is pretty easy to figure out which one I am, as the boyfriend focused a lot on me (cute, but I wish I had more of my friends, still… cute, so heh *blush*). The camera was terrible, its from a photo machine, so not that great. There are a few seconds of musical confusion at first and I spot one mistake from my side (not bad for me lol)

I just put it up on Youtube. Since this is an anonyblog, I don’t really mind showing it lol. And it will be good to look back at it, along with all my other posts.
Our teacher is the on on the far right. Only three brave students had the guts to participate, the rest chickened out haha!

Here’s the link:

 

 

Road trip moment number 1

I’ll be adding some moments from my recent road trip. All random, no particular order. This moment was by far the oddest, and will fall under my “wtf moments” category. Imagine yourself reaching your destination, car slows down, you look to the side and you see this.

My facial expression must have been excellent at the time, because a tourist that was ‘admiring’ the same thing looked at me and started laughing. Of course I started laughing too.

In case any of you have any doubts, yes, this is a stuffed animal someone decided to ‘donate’ to the village.

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Finito!

Finally done with the latest pot. It was probably the most intricate one I have done so far, and the most difficult one, but I had fun painting it 🙂  Mom’s bday is coming up so I might give it to her unless I make something nicer. I have to make a Stark sigil one for my brother, who also has a passion for all things Game of Thrones… Probably not the next one, but certainly coming soon 🙂

Here it is!

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Welcome to the jungle

Today my dad came over for a few minutes while I got something for him.

Immediately I became (even more) aware of the jungle that my apartment has become after I got addicted to transforming pots and light bulbs. Glass paint pots, Acrylic paint pots, Enamel spray cans, paint brushes, turpentine bottle, paint stained tissues, glue pots, glue tubes, painted pots, unpainted pots, yarn balls… good lord, I’m surprised my boyfriend hasn’t lost it yet! In fact, he hasn’t even complained once. Bless him.

So after I saw this picture I had a really good laugh. I’m sure anyone going through a similar creative spree will appreciate it:

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Addicted to pots

Here’s my most recent pot. I used a really old ball of yarn I found in the basement and some glue. Simple, easy and looks pretty fun 🙂
I’ve been a bit addicted to making new pots, I hope the addiction doesn’t end, because it is a healthy addiction and it is doing me a world of good. It is keeping me fulfilled, happy, entertained and inventive!

To think the addiction came back after I went to my mom’s and saw an old one I had made for her 🙂 . So glad the “crafter’s block” hasn’t hit me yet lol. Last time I had a ‘block’ it lasted me for years!

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My “wtf?” moment of the day

Today we went on another walk, and discovered new parts of the city… again. It is good to see that the Mouraria part of Lisbon is getting a well deserved makeover and that mid-October, the tourists are still merrily walking the streets, handicraft stores are filled with really interesting and new ideas, whilst others are selling small, adorable pieces of Lisbon’s history (I really had to contain myself not to go wild and start buying stuff I have no room to put in).

It was in a church in the Mouraria that I had my “wtf?” moment. I photographed it with my mobile phone as it is was more discreet and silent than my photo camera. Here it is, in all its amazing splendor: A steering wheel in a church altar.

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New things I painted!

Last post I said I was going to try to paint during my holidays, but I didn’t. I didn’t paint them during my holidays because  (‘yay’ ) my boyfriend’s boss told him she needed him the day before we were meant to head out to our road trip. So instead I painted my little pots and bottle during the weekend.

We were actually quite lucky that our hols got canceled, or rather, postponed, because the weather sucked that week, and we went the week after, and the weather was AWESOME!!!!!

I know I still haven’t posted all about my first hols, but I guess I’ll just add stuff as I feel like it. heck, it’s my blog and I’ll blog how I want to.

Here are some rather sucky quality photos of my latest creations. They look much nicer in person, but saddly my house isn’t as well lit as my mom’s hehe. I’ll replace the photo with better ones if I ever get around to it. I used the usual paints and also tried some new acrylic paints for fun, and I like them!

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That’s right, I’m slacking.

Done with work today, too tired to compute, so I am slacking and making drawings for my future glass paintings. My second half of holidays are about to start and I might get one done, hopefully more, as long as I manage to stay still for a few days… ok, so maybe just the one :p

Here’s an idea:
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Glass painting

Today I passed by my mother’s house to leave her some corn silk tea for an issue she has, kidney stones. I know she’d never bother making it herself, so I left her shitloads in her fridge lol 🙂

I was waiting for the water to boil when I noticed she had my Xmas gift to her from two years ago in her living room. I painted it myself, and filled it with yummy chocolates. Cheapest gift ever, but I think it was pretty cool. I took some photos of it to put here. Here it is!

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Been thinking about making more, on weekends, and then when I had loads, I could either give them to friends or sell them. I made more, I made one for my dad, one for a brother and one for my sister. If I ever come across them again I’ll photograph them and put them here 🙂

Lisbon shopping eating and exploring

Went for another great walk today. Feels like it is still summer. Splendorous weather! We decided to revisit some spots we had discovered a few weeks ago. We also ate some delicious Amorino icecreams, shopped for some winter clothes for me, ate our favourite burgers at Honorato’s and discovered some new bits of Lisbon.

A great day and my feet are killing me 🙂

Here are some photos I took with my mobile:

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And here’s a photo of my very first Henna tattoo! Did it two weeks ago, practically gone now, but it will stay photographed for eternity!

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Lisboa, Lisboa…

Yesterday I went out for a long walk with my better half, a sort of commemorative promenade to celebrate our five years together. The night was hot, but with some kind strokes of cool air to help us in our way.

The city was quite beautiful, if one would ignore the plague of fucking tags that has not so recently assailed it (seriously, António Costa, you really would make my day if you started punishing these disrespectful, ungrateful, useless and degenerate pricks for ruining my beautiful city). It was alive, more than I had ever seen at night. It was alive with music, colours, smells, foods, children, tourists, immigrants, dancing, art, and it was calm, pleasant, happy.

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My boyfriend and I enjoy these long walks, and we tend to try new paths, most of the times they surprise us. It is so wonderful to have lived here most of my life and still have secrets to find. Last night it wasn’t the paths that surprised us, it was the multitude of people walking around us in such harmony, with so much to see and so much to do.

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Overall, a wonderful night, with a wonderful visit to a local Turkish restaurant to kill my “saudades”… 😉

Day 3 – Cappadocia

Day three was the day I had been dreaming of the most. As mentioned on the previous post, anything dug into the ground has always fascinated me and often visited me in my dreams, more often in my childhood than now though.

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We woke up nice and early for our visits. Our first stop: Göreme Açikhava Müzesi (Goreme Open Air Museum).

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Goreme is believed to have served in part as a necropolis to the people of Venessa (Avanos today) in Roman times. There is a huge funerary monument in its center, tombs and all. It was also and important location for Christianity during the second half medieval times (many Christian paintings, some well preserved, some vandalized for religious reasons, almost all well protected), and was an episcopal center from the 11th to the 13th century.

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The open air museum was wonderful, with lots of rooms to visit, ancient refectories, churches, and burial chambers. The view is stunning and you can see even more constructions, including ancient pigeon coops (pigeon excrement was used as a fertilizer) in a nearby yet inaccessible area. Its been a week since I was there and I still make myself fall asleep imagining what life was like for the first people of Goreme.

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Mind you, this was only a museum. This area of Cappadocia is filled with these smooth sandy marvels, some built into, some not. After we left the museum we were able to feast our eyes with more stunning views by walking amongst some of these areas. It was a day I will never forget!

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The rest of our day included a visit to a Turkish rug place, pretty neat, especially compared to the ones I saw in Morrocco. We were kindly offered apple tea and the traditional Raki (wooooooooo!!!).

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Day 1 – Lisbon to Ankara

I am back from my long overdue holidays to some place outside of my own country. Destination: Turkey.

Day one was a whole lotta flying, from Lisbon to Istanbul and then from Istanbul to Ankara. The flights went well, had the best meal on air I had ever had (and also one of the best genuine Turkish meals I had during the holidays, weird, I know), and we sat next to a very nice Turkish gentleman who spoke to us about all the places we were going to visit over the course of the next week. Also, the airplanes had some good movies on, and I could play some games against my boyfriend, this made the flight much easier and seem faster.

Once we arrived at Istanbul, we realised we were the only people of the group that did not have their boarding tickets to Ankara with them. This was the beginning of a frantic race, from Turkish Airlines guy to Turkish Airlines guy, flapping e-tickets in their faces and each one telling us that we’d get our ticket further on. Good things our bags had wheels, we boarded to Ankara just in time, and a little sweaty.

This is the first time I was traveling with a group of strangers, all with the same travel agency. I have always done things without groups, and thus was a bit worried, if all those other people would get in the way of what I wanted to do and feel. They seemed nice enough, so after a while the concern stopped bugging me as much.

So finally, Ankara. Our bus dropped us off at the Ankara Swisshotel (it was dark by the time we arrived, but the city seems clean, (er, way cleaner than Lisbon) yet lacking personality (easy to say when you live in Lisbon). We took our bags up to our room, opened the door and I was like this:

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Because the room was like this:

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When I travel, I don’t do it for the hotel unless it’s one of those holidays where you just want your brain to melt into the horizon, where all you get is comfort and wonderful food, and walks by the ocean, blady bla… I actually never had one of those, but I bet that in a few years I’ll be needing one. I always value the cultural aspect of traveling more than the comfort aspect, but if I can get both, then who am I to say no?

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Let the vacay commence!

The irony of desti(nation)

Last week as I was walking down the torrid streets of Lisbon I saw these on the walls of an abandoned building.

The cool part, apart from the obvious solidarity and empathy between two distant countries that are undergoing tumultuous (yet different) times, is that I was there, walking down that street, because I had just finished the last details for my vacation in Turkey. 🙂

Definitely looking forward to it, tumultuous or not 🙂

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Carrot revisited

One of my very first posts in this blog was about my pet carrot that I had recently planted. I photographed it along with its pet, the orchid. See the link below to see the baby carrot photo:

https://anabbloggin.wordpress.com/2012/11/18/1-carrot/

That was back in November, and being the city dweller that I am, I thought a carrot would have upright shoots but quickly discovered that carrots, or at least this particular carrot, was rather floppy. I have tried my best to not let it flop to the ground.

The months went by without a problem, and I was quite surprised at the fact that no annoying parasite had tried to eat my carrot.

Enter spring…

Aphids, hundreds of aphids. I refused to use any pesticide on my carrot and patiently proceeded to manually remove the little buggars. Eventually they left my carrot alone (moved onto something better LOL) and I thought that would be the end of that.

Red spiders now -.-

Thousands of minute itsy bitsy freaking red spiders causing nasty brown spots on my lovely carrot. I decided to literally shower her twice or thrice a week to remove them, I hope it works.

The good news iiiis….. once again being the city dweller that I am, I thought that carrots reproduced via the roots… but no, it is by seeds, and they only give seeds every other year it seems. Today I discovered that despite all them nasty critters that are chewing at her, my pet carrot is blooming 🙂 … aw so cute.

Here she is in all her glory, brown spots and all, and some details of her blossoming. I placed her friend orchid near her for another family photo.

I have a question though… isn’t it weird to grow emotionally attached to a carrot?

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A year ago

Yesterday was the anniversary of my maternal grandmother’s death, my fraternal grandmother’s death would follow a month and a half later.

Today my mother went to the hospital, a terrible allergic reaction to fingerprint dust (she was at a house that got broken into, no biggy). She was having trouble breathing and could hardly speak, low oxygen levels. Towards the end of the day she told me she had to spend the night at the hospital.

Then it hit me, the fear. Stupid really but I felt that she really could die too. And it made me cry, that and remembering.

I went to visit her, she could hardly speak but it calmed me as in comparison to the frail and unconscious women that left my life, she was doing quite well (she felt like shit though).

I cleaned my hands with the disinfectant that hung from her bed. I spoke to her for a while. I left her a stuffed toy she gave me to keep her company. I kissed her goodbye, on the cheek, because both last times I kissed one of my mothers on the forehead was the last time I saw them alive.

I left after a while, got home, and started dinner while my boyfriend put the motorbike in the garage.

My hands, they still smelled of that disinfectant. The same disinfectant I used for weeks when I visited my last grandmother at the hospital. It was a soothing smell then, full of hope, it is a scary smell now.

I washed my hands, I washed the smell off.

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Daily patterns

Oh glorious friday. I am spent, my brain is mush and thirsty for distraction, color and fun, preferably with sun being involved… Sadly I have a few more hours to go and my brain is already dispersed into a quest for the futile but bemusing, searching anything and everything around me. Fridays should be banished. Boo to fridays.

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Goodbye old friend

This big old beauty will be cut down tomorrow. She has seen me since I was in my mother’s womb until now. I’d walk underneath her branches when I was a kid, going to school, running away from school, visiting my grandparents, and I still walk underneath its branches as I go to work. She saw my grandmother as a kid, and she saw our whole family the day she was buried. She’s seen my dad in my gran’s womb, seen him run around, grow, graduate. My grandparents used to live right in front of it. Her branches would reach into their room if they opened a window. She even saw my dad’s pet turtle fall off the balcony and onto the ground below (it survived somehow). She will be gone forever because she is big and tilting onto the road.

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I’ll miss her.

500px: Drinking

500px: Drinking. http://goo.gl/mag/r7ZiUwD

So so so sweet!

Last summer I found out snails like cookie crumbles, I dropped some in front of it, and then when it touched one, it stopped and felt it around ”heeeeeyy, wot’s this?” and then proceeded to eat them up, extra soggy from the rain. Now I see this photo and it just reminded me of that morning. So freaking CUTE!

Drawing Lord Varys

As the story of Game of Thrones frequently invades my mind, leading to many many minutes of doing nothing but thinking about its plots, characters, tactics, locations, this time it was Lord Varys’ turn. I couldn’t help but look back at all he has done, both in the t.v series and in the books and wonder if he is truly good. So far all I am sure is he is a better man than Littlefinger, but my scale is tipping to him actually being good.

As I wasted time thinking about this and not actually working (omg I can’t believe it is still tuesday), I drew this, with the help of my trusty Sketchbook pro app of course 🙂

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It’s official: Women ARE grumpier than men in the mornings | Mail Online

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2292195/Its-official-Women-ARE-grumpier-men-mornings.html

I’ll have to agree with this. My boyfriend is always lovely when he wakes up, no matter at what hour. If I wake him up in the middle of the night, he’s fine, he doesn’t even sound sleepy,  it’s strange.

Me, on the other hand, hehehe… erm. Let’s use two nights ago as an example: We went to sleep a bit earlier than usual, this means for me a harder time to fall asleep, as I am a bit of a night owl. That night it took me almost two hours to fall asleep, worse than usual, so I fell asleep at about 2am. My boyfriend was a bit nervous that day, because he was going to a new client, so he wakes me at 4:30 am by tapping my lightly on my back.

“Wut?”
“I think I’m feeling ill”

“Oh no” I think. Adrenaline rush, body temperature rises, heart racing.

“I’ll, how?”
“I don’t know, I’m not sure I am feeling ill.”

“Either you are ill or you aren’t, what do you feel?” <- insert slightly annoyed tone

“I don’t know if my belly hurts”

“How do you not know if your belly hurts? Either it hurts or it doesn’t.”

“I don’t know cuz I’m still half asleep.”
“Well yeah, so am I.”

Took me another hour to fall asleep and get over  the adrenaline rush and the annoyance. 5:30 am, I fall asleep again.

7:30 am, he wakes up for work. I wake up when he gets out of bed. Inner mutter. Back to sleep. Wake up at 8:40. Inner mutter.

But then I’m fine again, takes me a while though. And I find all of this story oddly funny and cute.

Go figure.

My pessimism

I am most definitely a pessimist, I am easily demotivated and always assume the worst will happen when there is a 50/50 chance.

The best example I can find that is current is what happened yesterday: As you will see if you scroll down on my blog, I am planning a holiday. The first place I looked up offered a great price initially, but the price rose to a point I found unacceptable. So my boyfriend and I looked up in another place, that not only could not match the price of the first agency, but was even more expensive. Then we visited a third place, and the price seemed great, the lady at the agency told us that the price should be around 1.040 euros. Perfect. Only she could not give us confirmation as it was sunday, and confirmations could only be made on weekdays.

I went back on monday to see if she could confirm, and the expression on her face immediately made me see something was wrong. She told me we could go, but the supplement wasn’t 200 euros anymore, but 520 euros! Our holidays would cost 1.285 euros per person.  I was upset. She told me she’d send an email saying that it was her bad, that she had processed our request too slow, and see if they could lower the price, and said that she would also queue us up to a new supplement list, and we’d have a 50/50 chance of getting an even lower price: 934 euros per person.

So I give her the go ahead, go back to work, and what do I proceed to do?

Sulk.

I sulked like a little girl, I told my boyfriend I felt demotivated, that things never went well, that we never manage to do anything special, that we’d only manage to get proper holidays in 25 years after we had a kid and it grew and left the house (yes I went that far). All he did was tell me to keep calm, that the only thing that mattered is that we were happy together, and that we’d get the holidays we wanted. He even asked me if I wanted to try other places, like Paris or even travel within our own country. My answer was “choose whatever you want, I don’t care anymore”. Lovely, eh?

What the hell makes me behave like this? Why the defeatism? Why the sulking? Why do I do this? Not only do I expect the worst, I make it even worse, like I have to make it worse.

Once I got home, my boyfriend’s presence alone was enough to make it stop. I was ok again, and didn’t think about it more than twice the whole night. Like magic.

Well this morning the lady from the agency called, we are having our holiday afterall, and cheaper than before. I am happy, and feel that extra energy you get when things are going well. Still have that little pessimist devil whispering at my ear “there will be a fuckup, there will be a fuckup” but I intend to bitchslap it as soon as I manage to get to the agency today to pay.

Smell the flowers woman, and stop this crap.

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Be happy, you are going on holidays

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So, after a few years of no special holidays (still better than no holidays, I know), my boyfriend and I decide to go somewhere new. Turkey, all expenses payed, 8 days, 950 euros, wow… cheap! But then of course we want to go in July, so it’s more expensive… 995 euros, okaaaay, still cheap for all expenses and in a 4* hotel, with one internal flight and excursions with a guide and such. But then since I decided to book the hols so late, it’s 1.115 euros, 120 more per person… BUT… my boyfriend had to confirm with his boss that he could actually reeeeally go on hols then, and pay up without the risk of having him call him to work then… so, one day later aaaaand 40 more euros per person. Going now on 1.155 euros per person. Since I’d rather be safe than sorry, BAM! 22 more euros per person, insurance you see… 1.177 euros.

It’s reserved. I have the weekend to chew this over until it is a dry, hard lump (you know, like when you were a kid and your mother told you you couldn’t leave the table until you finished eating what you had in your mouth?). I hate spending money, and I hate seeing the value of what I have to spend grow as the minutes tick… grrrr. Really… grrr.

Update: I chewed it up and spat it out! Found the same for 1040 euros! WOoT!

Monday is out of the way, so smile

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A pretty good monday as mondays stand.  Quite a bit of work done, a good chat with my sister, a good workout at the gym, my depressed granpa seems to be cheering up again, had fun watching some Dexter episodes (season 4, he just wrecked his car with a corpse in the trunk, tsc, babies can really ruin an assassin’s routine), aaand starting to focus on healthier meals at home, with less insta-foods! Overall a good day 🙂